Boyfriend girlfriend relationship in islam

Boy- Girl Relationships in Islam - Ask a Question to Us

boyfriend girlfriend relationship in islam

A boyfriend/girlfriend relationship conflicts with all of the above. To preempt this , Islamic rulings limit the extent to which men and women can. Boy- Girl Relationships in Islam In islam can muslim men and women be friends if their intentions are pure,just friends not boyfriend or girlfriend? “I do not. The Girlfriend Boyfriend Relationship. What to do if your in such a relation ship. halal and haram in islam, muslim values, Allah's laws. Prophet Muhammads.

But what about the unmarried person who has sexual relationships? Rest assured that this person will not go unpunished - he or she is to be caned or whipped one hundred times [Muslim]. Even in the Hereafter, the punishment is severe: At this stage your teenage child may say that girlfriend-boyfriend relationships need not go as far as the sexual act; that they can control themselves and simply enjoy each others company.

To counter this, you say that it is a fact when a girl and a boy are alone together, their sexual desires awaken and before they know it, they will be doing things that are not permissible between unmarried people. The reason for this is because Shaytaan will be the third person with them [Ahmad] and he will whisper and tempt them with the forbidden. This is why Islam shuns all avenues leading to corruption of the mind, body and soul. Something else we must teach them is to restrain their desires.

We can do so by giving them examples of the rewards for doing so, such as the person who controls his lust will be among people who Allah bestows mercy upon: First, you must talk and explain to them these things when they are young, then when they are older, you make sure that it is put into practice.

You must teach him or her to: Not to freely mix with the opposite sex. Not to look at the opposite sex. This is done by lowering or averting their eyes as Allah tells us: That is purer for them. Verily Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts The first look is allowed to you but not the second.

What this means is that the first look is by accident. If this happens then do not take a second look. For girls, teach them not to make their voices seductive or sweet in front of non-Mahatma. This is done by lowering the voice and not flirting.

As Allah tells the wives of Prophet Muhammad s. Last but not least, teach them to wear appropriate clothing so as not to draw attention to themselves. That is, girls should wear Hijabs and loose clothing while boys should also wear loose clothing, not the tight jeans or pants with t-shirt tucked in.

boyfriend girlfriend relationship in islam

It is sad that, often, parents allow their children to wear the so called fashionclothing which, in most cases, do not meet the requirement of acceptable Islamic dress code.

What is even sadder is to see Muslim mothers covering themselves properly walking with their uncovered teenage daughters and sons. It is important that we start teaching our children the need to feel modesty, especially around the opposite sex. Regarding shyness, we should use the Prophet s. Abu Said Al Khudri r. It is also important that we keep the communication channels open with our children so that we can talk and explain to them things, and they can ask us questions, without any party feeling embarrassed.

Then, when they are older, and with help from us, they will begin to understand why it is that there cannot be a thing called 'the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship'.

In the next issue, Insha' Allah, we will discuss the ways in which parents can deal with the situation when they have discovered that their daughter or son is in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. How to deal with a G-B Relationship? By Amatullah Islam In the last article I talked about taking preventative measures to ensure that when your child is older, he or she will not be caught in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship.

However, if your child is already a teenager or those methods did not work, and you are now facing this dilemma, there is still hope of rectifying it. Most parents react with extremity upon discovering that their daughter is in a girlfriend-boyfriend situation: What would be the reaction from the girl when she is faced with this? That is, she would do the opposite of what the parents say and, in extreme cases, run away from home.

If this is not how parents want it to end, they must tread lightly. Do everything with a light touch because teenagers respond better to it. At any signs of heavy-handedness, teenagers rebel. The first step in any bridge-building is to talk.

boyfriend girlfriend relationship in islam

Calmly talk to your daughter to understand why she is having a boyfriend. What led to this? There are many reasons why girls seek out boys. The first culprit that parents point the accusing finger at, is the girl's raging hormones.

This may be true in some girls but not all. There are girls who have raging hormones but who can control themselves, and then there are girls who do not have raging hormones but who still pursue the opposite sex. Therefore, what are some other possible reasons for the girl's behaviour? Peer pressure is one. When all her friends and school mates have boyfriends, she feels compelled to follow suit. If she does not have a boyfriend of her own then she feels left out because she cannot fit in with their after school activities and cannot join in their conversations.

What makes it worse is that everyone will see her as a "geek". Another reason is if she is undertaking a popularity contest. She competes with other girls in attaining as many boyfriends as she can to see who will be the popularity queen.

boyfriend girlfriend relationship in islam

These contests also occur because it is seen that only popular girls have boyfriends. Boredom often drives a girl into the arms of a boy. She sees her life as monotonous and so searches for thrill and excitement with the boy.

Or perhaps her self-esteem is low, so she depends on him to make her feel desirable and wanted. Yet another reason is that she needs to be loved.

boyfriend girlfriend relationship in islam

She seeks her parents love but cannot access it, therefore, she seeks it elsewhere. Similar to this is if she is seeking her parents attention.

She defies them in seeking a boyfriend so that she can have their attention.

boyfriend girlfriend relationship in islam

Going against the Will of Allah in a matter so important as sex means that you will be more likely to go against the Will of Allah in other matters also, possibly eventually leaving Islam. How terrible for your life, how terrible for the whole Muslim Ummah, we could possibly lose the benefits of Islam for the whole world just because some could not wait for the pleasures of sex until it is made right for them after marriage.

What a huge price to pay. Then of course there is the price you could end up paying for eternity. What if on Judgment Day the price you must pay for your wrong relationships and unlawful sexual behaviour is that you are sent to Hellfire instead of to Paradise?

Some young Muslims give little thought to Judgment Day, but we know Judgment Day is certain and everything will happen exactly the way we have been told by Allah through revelation. Consider how you would feel then. It would indeed be an awesome mistake to not take this possibility with all the necessary seriousness.

This list could go on forever so I will make this the last, but it involves something so very special, so very precious, that even without all the other costs this one alone makes wrong relationships between boys and girls, young men and young women, far too high a price to pay. This cost involves the relationship between husband and wife in marriage.

InshaAllah, you will be married for a very long time and of course you want that married relationship to be very special and very wonderful in every way. But the reality is that any relationships you have with members of the opposite sex before marriage chip away some of what should make the relationship between husband and wife so exquisitely special.

Allah wanted to make the marriage relationship so very special that married couples would care so deeply for each other that neither partner would ever want to stray through adultery or separate through divorce. It should be the most wonderful worldly relationship possible.

The more a married couple has to share exclusively between themselves, the more special and unique the relationship, in particular the sexual relationship, in a marriage becomes. So the reason that relationships before marriage make your husband or wife less special to you is that to some degree whatever has been done with others before makes your marriage partner just one more in the line of persons who have shared that part of the relationship with you which should have been held as a trust for the one you marry.

By not waiting for that special moment when you first marry you make that special moment no longer special. This is true of all aspects of relationships before marriage, but it is of particular importance for that most special of all parts of the marriage relationship, the sexual part.

Sex is a precious gift from Allah. This gift can only be given away for the first time once. Wouldn't this be a great gift for that one person who will be with you for the rest of your life? I hope from this discussion of boy-girl relationships before marriage you are now better able to weigh what you get objectively against how much you have to give.

Be honest with yourself, can you really say it is worth it? It seems the benefits of waiting until marriage are so great that no other possible choice should be possible. A good marriage is still possible, but sadly, less likely. So if you have already lost the opportunity to make your marriage the most special it could possibly be by waiting to partake in the rights of marriage, then you should immediately begin doing what ever you can to make your chances for a successful marriage as good as possible.

And, you should be prepared after marriage to treat the one you marry with an extra degree of love, tenderness, and kindness far beyond anything you have ever experienced before. Please know that I have absolutely no doubt that the limits of boy-girl relationships before marriage set by Allah are correct and offer by far the best way to ensure a happy and successful marriage.

But, I understand very well the pressures of the modern world, and pressures from peers, upon young Muslims, so I am going to do something I wish I did not have to do. I am going to suggest, for those who for whatever reason can not or will not follow the way of life Allah has made lawful for you, an alternative that, while not right, will still protect you and your future marriage from the most severe effects of the harm that could come from wrong relationships.

First let me suggest a common pattern of how boy-girl relationships can get started and how they can go so wrong. Possible likely steps in the development of a wrong relationship could be as follows: It makes me very sad to think this could happen to any of my very dear young Muslim brothers and sisters, but I am sure you know it is happening to some.

So I offer the following as a suggestion to those who for whatever reason choose not to live according to the Will of Allah. To those wonderful young Muslims who have been, and are, able to follow rightly the commands of Allah I am indeed most pleased and may Allah give you extra Blessings. You do not need what I am about to suggest, just continue to live Islam in its purest form.

To do this you have to set some limit as to how far you will go in the wrong boy-girl relationship. As I look at the likely steps in the progression of relationships I see that there is a natural point where the risk of harm, particularly leading to the greatest harm, becomes clear.

In that progressive sequence in the development of wrong relationships the point where you become at risk of greatest harm is when you agree to meet and be alone. If you set the absolute limit at only those parts of the boy-girl relationship that can take place if you are never ever to be alone together you can still have quite a bit of the fun and pleasure of having as a friend a member of the opposite sex you like a lot, talking to them, and even being some sort of couple.

Actually this is a lot. The fact that many of our wonderful young Muslims, who have friendships with a member of the opposite sex, do sincerely have the intention of abstinence makes the commitment to never be alone together all the more likely to be effective.

Still you are stealing some part of what is special and should ideally be held only until after marriage, but you are retaining the most intimately precious parts until they can be experienced rightly with the one you marry. Remember, this can only work if that limit of never being alone together is totally absolute.

To make sure this limit is never passed it must be understood that no person in the relationship would ever even suggest in any manner at all to the other that they should meet in a way that allows them to be alone together. Make sure right from the beginning that the person you like understands how strongly you feel about this matter, and that they feel the same.

If your friend were even to suggest meeting alone this should be sufficient evidence that the person you liked is not a right person to have a relationship with; and, you should be completely willing to end a relationship with anyone who would care so little about harming you and your whole future just to satisfy their selfish needs.

For this plan to work it is critical that the Ummah around you, your Muslim peers, feel so deeply concerned about this matter that they would not only look very unfavourably on those who chose to be alone together, but also on anyone who would even suggest being alone together.

Why Does Islam not Allow Boyfriends and Girlfriends? - SeekersHub Answers

This has to become an unbreakably strong social taboo. I do this in hopes that by offering this alternative to a greater wrong you can be protected against the greatest harm, and that this can be an early step in the progression toward a future Muslim Ummah where no alternatives are needed and ALL young Muslims fully follow Islam, the way of life made right for us by Allah.

Do it only because you know a small harm is better than a great harm, while no harm at all is always the very best. The Path to Paradise? Because feelings of love and desire are so strong more acknowledgement must be given to the powerful need to be part of a couple that is being felt by both young Muslim boys and girls. No one should doubt that these feelings are very real and completely natural; by natural I mean Allah has placed those feelings within all human beings. Allah has prepared boys and girls both physically and mentally to be ready to bond as a permanent couple through marriage with a member of the opposite sex at quite a young age.

That age is probably about years old. Please do not misunderstand, I am not by any means saying that all or even most young Muslims who fall into that young age range are emotionally ready for marriage. This presents a significant problem for young Muslims because in most nations of the developed world, and increasingly in the developing world, the average age for marriage has now become about years old. This means that after Allah has prepared you for love and marriage you might have to wait another ten or fifteen more years to partake of those most wonderful pleasures.

Waiting ten or more years after you have been made ready for a loving relationship with a member of the opposite sex to finally experience that relationship is an awesome task to contemplate.

This alone might be one of the many reasons some young Muslims today are finding it so difficult to obey the limits placed by Allah and end up in boy-girl relationships beyond that which is known to be right. Young Muslims for over a thousand years had been able to resist the temptations of a relationship with the opposite sex beyond the limits set by Allah.

To understand why that was so we must understand how all aspects of human consciousness and behaviour are conditioned by the influences of the environment we grow up in. In the past the temptation of a loving relationship with a member of the opposite sex before marriage, while still alluring, was combined with a wide range of very powerful social influences almost invariably saying that to have any relationship with a member of the opposite sex outside of marriage was so terribly and intolerably wrong that it would be virtually inconceivable to do such a thing.

Given these are the realities our dear Muslim youth face today I am going to make one more suggestion that could help keep the wondrously beautiful institution of marriage pure and innocent as Allah intended.

I am relieved to say that this suggestion is well within the limits placed by Allah, although it is not within the prevailing cultural practices of the modern world. Since Allah has prepared young Muslims for love and marriage at a very young age, and for much of the history of Islam marriage has taken place at a young age, maybe we should return to that practice today.

If young Muslims only had to wait a year or two after the time that Allah prepared them mentally and physically for marriage, rather than to wait the seemingly interminable ten to fifteen years that modern culture dictates, might not virtually all Muslim youth be willing and able to restrain themselves from coupling until that intimate love is made right for them by marriage? My dear young Muslim brothers and sisters, upon reading this suggestion please do not rush out planning to get married at a very tender age.

To make early marriage work will be no easy task. At the time when Muslims married at a young age we had a much more right Islamic society for those marriages to flourish in. If we wish to reintroduce marriage at an early age for young Muslims we must do everything we can to ensure a society conducive to making those youthful marriages successful.

I have thought long and hard over this matter and I have not been able to come up with any other viable solution to the multifaceted problem of Muslim youth disobeying the command of Allah to participate in wrongful relationships with the opposite sex other than reinstituting early marriage as the norm within our ummah.

If we are going to suggest early marriage as the solution to the relationship difficulties facing Muslim youth then we must do everything within our power to help ensure the success of those early marriages.

I see two important hurdles which must be overcome in order to give early Muslim marriages any real chance for success. There will be other difficulties to be sure, but if we can find a solution for these two then we will be well on our way toward making happy and successful early marriage among Muslim youth an achievable accomplishment.

The first prerequisite for success will be to find some way to make sure that young Muslims make the right choice of a marriage partner.

The second precondition for success would be to find some way to make sure that the young Muslim married couples do not succumb to the tremendous burden of financial stress during those delightful but fragile beginning stages of married life.

Why Does Islam not Allow Boyfriends and Girlfriends?

That is a completely untrue belief that has been wrongly conditioned into the minds of many young Muslims by the powerful influences of a Godless decadent culture. Most young Muslims would have no idea at all how incredibly and exceedingly blind love can be. When the heart experiences love the eyes and the mind can become totally oblivious to the most obvious of faults. Although arranged marriages have recently fallen well out of fashion, they really did have a lot going for them.

There is no question of the reality that arranged marriages have generally been happier, more successful, and long lasting. There are many logical reasons for this. First and foremost among the reasons is the obvious fact that parents will have a much more objective perception of the overall suitability of the prospective marriage partner for their son or daughter.

Even if modern Muslim youth do not want to give their parents complete responsibility for choosing a good marriage partner for them, they should at least have a wholehearted acceptance of the fact that they must never marry the person they choose for themselves without the unqualified approval of their parents.

To refuse their parents full right of approval would indeed be to court disaster. The other crucially important circumstance that must be taken into consideration is the financial situation.