Lying: A Relationship Deal Breaker | HuffPost
A relationship needs trust in order to continue thriving and growing in a healthy way. Lying, whether it's about small things or about serious things like finances or . Lying is always destructive to relationships. does his best to step up and speak up, even though he internally fears Kara's wrath, to help her learn to trust him. Find out some of the main ways that lying is toxic to any relationship it to the truth, you can't help but feel foolish for ever falling for the lies.
How Lying Hurts You
If the relationship is a good, solid one and you can get through the minor problems that seem to affect all partnerships, that make life easier. But what happens when you find out that this new partner has lied to you?
Should you stay with someone who has been less than truthful?
It all depends on you as a person. How much are you willing to put up with and how much time are you willing to spend with a liar? The key ingredient in any relationship is trust, especially as we grow older. Coupled with respect and love, trust gives you a strong basis as a couple.
While trust is a bond, it is also a tenuous one, easily broken, if one of the partners constantly lies. When we talk about lying, we're not including innocent white lies as in, "Did you close the outside lights? It no longer is an active part of being a couple. That breaks the strong bond of partnership. Lies about fidelity and money are the two most common ones that affect couples.
They make it almost impossible to have real trust ever again in a relationship. If your partner has cheated or if you feel that he or she will cheat again you have a trust issue. In addition to lying to you, he or she is making you constantly wait for "the other shoe to drop. Staying together is not an option for you. Life is too stressful. I absolutely cannot trust him.
Once I caught him in a lie that changed everything. I can't take him back no matter how charming he seems to be right now. A fifty-something woman confided to me about what her new husband had done that constituted a complete marital trust breaker.
These liars are pathological. They will lie even when it would be easier to tell the truth. Cloud and Townsend warn that we need to stay away from these people. I think some people want grace and certainly they can get grace, but when we lie, we make the people we are lying to feel badly about the relationships and about themselves. We like people who make us feel respected, cared about and honored.
Lying to somebody communicates the opposite. Here are the things that lies did to my two relationships: When my friends lied, I felt disrespected and unimportant.
- How to Repair a Relationship After Lying
- 8 Ways Lying Is Poisonous To Relationships
- Lying: A Relationship Deal Breaker
This made me feel bad about myself, as though I were not important or trustworthy enough to be told the truth. When I found out the extent of one of the lies, I felt like a fool. It was as though she were testing out whether she was safe to be vulnerable.
She told many other lies, but this was just one of them. I thought less of my friends. When we lie, we are stealing social commodity without having earned it. People can lie their way into power, and in one instance with a friend, she lied her way into moral superiority. An appropriate use of those two examples of superiority might be to lead a team or teach a class.
I felt sad and lonely. When we think we are getting to know somebody, we are giving them parts of our hearts. This made me feel lonely and dumb.
The only thing more important than love in a relationship is trust. Trust is the soil love grows in.
The Devastating Power of Lies in a Relationship
When my friends lied, our trust died. As much as I wanted to forgive them, and feel like I did and have, interacting with them was no longer the same. I doubted much of what they said.
Sadly, I think both of them began to tell more and more of the truth. They were still thinking of themselves.