Love and basketball relationship

Love & Basketball - Wikipedia

love and basketball relationship

Remember when you first saw 'Love & Basketball'? We look back on the nostalgia and the lessons on love and life from the film. I am definitely more of a movie fan than a basketball fan, thus I went in expecting a jock flick with a token relationship thrown in to justify the title. I could not have. “Love & Basketball” was the first film by writer and director Gina . and I was talking to her about some personal relationship stuff that I was.

These preconceived ideas affect the way we act, communicate, and dress. Throughout most of the movie, Monica appears to be more masculine than most girls; she loves basketball and resists domestic duties and anything girly.

Basketball is everything to her. She is constantly reacting to the pressure she receives from her parents, sister, and even sometimes Quincy to be more ladylike. For the first part of the movie, Quincy seems like the all American guy. He is attractive, extremely athletic, and has a cool and confident personality. All the girls love him and all the guys want to be him. He perfectly fits our societies definition of masculinity.

However, as their relationship progresses, and he finds out about his fathers infidelity, he begins to be very emotional and looks to Monica for closeness and emotional support.

Double Or Nothing: An Oral History Of 'Love & Basketball'

He then begins to get his feelings hurt when she focuses on basketball more than him and beings to react and attempt to make her jealous. This behavior is pretty a-typical of females.

Cute Love and basketball couple

Usually it is the female in the relationship who needs more attention and emotion support, and the guy is the one usually more focused on other things. This brings us to the question of where did these gender norms come from and why are they such a strong force on each of us?

Love and Basketball Analysis | katesanders

In the book Questioning Gender, the author Robyn Ryle talks about how we learn gender norms or gender socialization. The author discusses the Cognitive Development Theory and how it seeks to explain the ways in which children acquire a sense of gender identity and the ability to gender-type themselves and others.

Because most Americans are brought up under the ideals of social norms, it tends to have a very strong impact and be very troubling to some people when violated.

Touch is clearly a big part of their relationship. Many times I saw Quincy using touch to establish his dominance over her or to show others that she was his girl.

He would put his arm around her when walking around at school or one time he tackled her in the lawn at school and started kissing her. In the book Nonverbal Behavior in Interpersonal Relations the three authors talk about these dominant gestures.

Vocal behavior is another nonverbal aspect that Monica and Quincy relied on. Many times they use the tone of their voice say what they actually mean. A nonverbal quality that I believe was lacking from their relationship however was physical appearance.

Only one time in the movie did either of them dress up and really put work into their appearance. It is important to put work into the outward appearance because being physically attractive to each is a big part of a relationship.

love and basketball relationship

Moving on to the idea of self-concept, Monica and Quincy seemed to differ in this area as well. This most likely stems from the fact that his passion and talent is something that makes him cool and attractive. His looks, abilities, social and economic status boosted his confidence and the way he saw himself. Nothing and no one will stop her. She has committed herself to her dream and showing everyone including her mother that a woman can do anything she wants to do.

Touch is the most significant aspect of their relationship. As children, they were always pushing each other and fighting. But as they got older their touch went from wanting to cause harm, to wanting to show affection. As a couple, they were always touching each other to show desire and to be intimate.

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  • Love & Life Lessons I Learned From “Love & Basketball”

She has a tight, white dress on that showed all of her curves. Her hair and makeup were done and she looked like a woman. Up until that moment, Quincy had never really viewed her as a woman, just a friend that he saw as one of the guys.

love and basketball relationship

The level of space changes throughout the movie. At first, Monica and Quincy keep their space and are not quite sure how to react to one another. As a couple, they start spending a lot of time together and there is no longer that awkward space between them.

love and basketball relationship

What once was separate is now joined. Overall, the qualities have positive and negative affects on the relationship. Touch is always going to play a big part in an intimate relationship. Touch is an important aspect in showing affection. They need to be physical to show their love for each other. A negative nonverbal element on their relationship is physical appearance.

This desire Quincy has for an attractive woman delayed their relationship from starting sooner. I think space and territoriality was a positive element for them. They needed to loosen their personal space to get closer to each other and they did. I think this is why physical touch during their basketball games at night did not bother them.

If anything, it made them closer. Personally, I think both Quincy and Monica are very confident and resilient people. They both view themselves as invincible and good at what they do. Neither one of them allows anything to get in the way of their dreams.

However, I do think this can sometimes be a front they put up for the public. They would never admit it but they are terrified of failure and losing control of their fate. He comes off as the big man on campus and can be pretty intimidating.

This is mainly because of the way women are viewed. After viewing this movie, I learned that never giving up on someone you truly love is something you have to do in order to find happiness.

Monica never got over Quincy, she has loved them since they were eleven years old and she never stopped loving him. Even after five years of not talking, she knew she was never going to get over Quincy. She knew she had to give it one more shot. I was able to relate to multiple images and themes in this film.

I have experienced being the tomboy who plays all the sports with the boys and not being noticed as a girl. I never got the chance to show them this until we got to high school when I grew into more feminine appearance. The fact that Monica has to initiate each intimate talk with Quincy about their relationship is consistent with me.

I always find myself being the one wanting to define the relationship or figure out where this is going.

I want my significant other to know how I am feeling and what I am thinking. I feel like Monica is the same way.

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Sometimes guys just need a little boost. They seem to yell at each other and get aggressive and even shove one another. I mainly deal with conflict by voicing my feelings and then avoiding the problem.

Most often, Quincy and Monica took their conflicts out on the court. Monica is consistent with how I behave and handle situations within a relationship. It was surprising just how much I could relate to her. I learned by watching her, that I can sometimes be too aggressive towards my significant other when dealing with defining the relationship.

I also came to the realization that I have been in her shoes. I am not sure if waiting five years to realize this is particularly healthy but I have been in that situation where I held myself back for years.